Garbage, baggage and all ...

Thursday, June 17, 2010
I'm busy reading a book by Julia Cameron called "The right to write". I like scribbling down ideas that "speak" to me in terms of where I am or what I'm experiencing in my own life. 

As I was busy doing the scribbling-down-thingie a few days ago I suddenly realised that what Julia is saying about writing is also without doubt true of my relationship with my heavenly Father.

This is what I wrote down:

"Wherever you are is the entry point" - Kabir

"Wherever you are is always the right place. There is never a need to fix anything, to hitch up the bootstraps of the soul and start some higher place. Start right where you are" - Julia Cameron

We, as Brad from "the God journey" puts it, are allowed (thanks to Jesus) to bring all our garbage and all of who we are into God's presence and it is there where  
He then, with love and grace,  helps us to sort through it all - the good, the bad and the ugly

I've started believing and doing that 17 years ago and that, for me, has made all the difference

God is good!


Enjoying Him

Thursday, June 10, 2010
A while back I (again) read the story of Martha doing, and Mary sitting at the feet of Jesus. But this time  a question popped up: "Do you not think that Mary would have jumped up to do whatever Jesus asked her to do the moment He asked her to do it?" And I knew that she would have. She loved Him. She would have done anything for Him. And she would have done it with joy (unlike Martha complaining about all the things that she "had to do").  

I ended my quiet time that morning with the prayer: "I want to stay a Mary, one that sits at your feet, living loved but ever ready to follow where you lead"

The next morning, in that space between sleep and waking up, another question was planted. I knew that it was linked to Martha and Mary. In the dark I quickly wrote the question down at the back of my journal and then went back to sleep.

A week later, not feeling on top of the world, I asked God to shine His light and truth into the dark places and reveal to me the secrets of my troubled heart. Without thinking about it, I turned to the back of my journal. And there was the question that I wrote down in the dark, a week ago...

"Can you just enjoy being around God, without wanting to DO something FOR HIM?" 

...and at the moment of reading this I realised that this was also the thought that was going through my mind just as I was turning to the back of my journal. (The Spirit wanted to make sure I get this one)

Can I just enjoy being around God without wanting to do something for Him?  I had to answer no. That was exactly my struggle. I was in a space of not being able to just BE with Him. Because I was ever ready to do, I wasn't enjoying the relationship. I turned into a Marthy (And a bunch of the being-ever-ready was about me but I will share more about that in another blog posting) I just prayed that God will again bring me to a place where I am not focused on what I can do for Him, but where I'm able to JUST BE with Him...

the way He enjoys JUST BEING with me ... 
Love you Father!

This blog thing is hard!

Thursday, June 3, 2010
This blog thing is hard for me in so many ways and I think, I know that God is using it to squeeze the orange. Let me clarify.

Someone once got my attention with this. He asked the question: What comes out when you squeeze an orange. The obvious answer is orange juice. He then went on to state that whatever is on the inside comes out when pressured or  squeezed 

...and I am being squeezed by this simple thing of starting a blog. What's on the inside, is coming out. And not all of it is sweet. But as the not-so-sweet juice is coming out, God is so gently dealing with it while guiding me to more freedom in Him. 

I think I will probably be sharing about this in the weeks to come. 

Any one else being squeezed by the situation you are in?